fidji45
bonsoir
Corrigé pour Solsisi en premier Places and forms of power
I'm going to talk about the notion of Places and forms of power. To introduce this notion, I would like to give a definition of this concept : Places are for instance important(il faut essayer de bannir "important" qui est "plat : je propose donc major buildings buildings or institutions that represent a certain form of power, for example Buckingham Palace, a symbol of the British monarchy,Big Ben, the Houses of Parliament and other places. Power is the ability to influence the behavior of people. There are different (mieux : various)types of power. it can be economic, political, psychological. In order to live together, members of a community accept rules, regulations,or laws. This helps to create social cohesion but can also lead to conflicts and tensions. We could ask ourselves the following question: Does everybody( mieux : do all American citizens) approve the gun legislation? At first(non at first se dit par exemple at first ,I thought she was funny but ....donc se serait la traduction de "au début" "à première vue', il faut "oublie" ce at fisrt et dire) : firstly , I am going to be interested (non, pour je vais m'interesser à en anglais , pas de traduction on va contourner par I am going to underline/focus.....on dit I am interested in : je m'interesse mais NE JAMAIS mettre cette expression verbale à l'infinitif )focus on the population favorable to this legislation.
For that purpose, I am going to take the example of Mickaël Patrick and in particular the slaughter in "Sandy Hook". Secondly, I chose the document called "Brady Campaign" and I am going(attention aux répétitions I am going qui peut être remplacé par un will) show that everybody does not accept firearms(???) arms tout simplement.
To illustrate our problem, we are going to be interested(à changer) in the population favorable to this legislation that is the carrying of firearms. For example, the Second Amendement to the United States Constitution protects the right of the people to keep and bear arms and was adopted on December 15, 1791, as part of the first ten amendments contained in the Bill of Rights. All the American population is thus legally authorized to possess a firearms.)??
However, with the authorization to buy and to carry firearms, many people consider the firearm as a game,and it can represent a real danger. We can quote the example of Michael Patrick, a teenager who wanted to take his revenge because at the school (ègle à savoir les trois "at" : at school, at chuch, at home, sans "the"he was a victim of harassment. He wanted to fright(pas de "ed") his companions with a false bomb. This attitude shows once again that firearms are considered as a game and students are not really conscious of the impact they can have (simplement!). I think also in particular of the slaughter which took place in " Sandy Hook "the elementary school on December 14th, 2012, in the United States, causing the death of 28 people among which 27 children and also his (ce n'est pas clair ce "his : tu parles de sa mère:mais la mère de qui?) mother.
Now I will move on to(great!!) my second part. The document I will use to illustrate my point with is “Brady Campaign” and I am going to show that everybody does not accept firearms. This(j'enlève generally car tu as mis general et ici cela a le sens français et ne convient pas à la phrase) target( quel est le temps targeted ou targetS) the general population(mieux: the population as a whole) their aim is to make people reject gun culture.Guns kill a high number of Americans each year. It is an association which wants to raise people's awareness, the aim (ou goal) is to change the law, to forbid the right to buy and to carry firearms in the United States. The campaigners' goals are to highlight the severity,????je dirais tragedy of gun crime in the United States in particular.
To conclude, I shall(non ici shall est devenu désuet et ne se dit plus sauf dans des cas particuliers)I would like to conclude by saying that American citizens don't need weapons to defend themselves. Firearms bring violence and incite to commit crimes. Many people die(as-tu un chiffre, ce serait un "plus") every year because of (they are forbidden , !!)ne mets pas cela !because the children see firearms as games. To possess a firearm is the door open to any freedom.(?? mais c'est contradictoire??) Even if many people consider that they are free to posess arms, Various associations are present to warn people, to make them understand that arms are dangerous and that it is necessary to forbid them
Ce terme de "firearm" , je ne l'ai jamais entendu aux info US ,juste "arms" firearms. These firearms are a real danger and it would be necessary to forbid them everywhere, and especially in schools
Le jour de l'exam on peut te demander si certains présidents sont allés à l'encontre du port d'armes: Obama a essayé mais bloqué par congrès et Trump bien sûr favorable aux armes
Il faut que tu saches que les amendements de la constitutions sont très puissants ; par exemple on a le droit de se moquer très ouvertement du President sans aucune conséquence (first amendement ; freedom of speech) qui est cité jusqu'à l'excès . On a le droit de se dire ouvertement raciste =first amendement .
Donc hélas la loi contre le port d'armes je n'y crois pas trop
Mon ordinateur a bloqué donc il peut y avoir des coquilles.
:)
lena6
Bonjour tout le monde,
Moi aussi je prépare mes fiches en vue des examens du bac
J'aurais une petite question à ceux qui passent sur les élections présidentielles des E-U (notion : lieux et formes de pouvoir)
Avez-vous trouvé une conclusion?
PS : j'ai un peu de mal pour conclure car j'ai peur qu'en énoncant les différents points évoqués précédemment, ça soit trop redondant pour le jury.. parce qu'en 5min, je doute qu'ils aient oublié XD
Cordialement
Lena
fidji45
Corrigé pour mimie 29
je vais corriger ton texte. J'espère que tu le verras car comme tu as écrit juste derrière un autre texte non corrigé , tout s'embrouille; Merci d'attendre que je corrige le texte précédent avant de mettre le tien sinon je ne peux répondre (je pense que tu n'étais pas au courant bien sûr)
Je suis en Terminale S et je passe mes oraux d'anglais début mai. J'aimeraiS de l'aide pour corriger mon texte.
Merci beaucoup d'avance pour votre aide !(ok)
Places and forms of power
I will present the notion "Places and forms of power". To speak of power is to speak of the relations established in our society between different members to exercise a right, an action on someone or something.(je ne comprends bien cette phrase , que veux tu dire?)
To illustrate this notion, I will talk about (pas de "the " c'est une généralité ) gun control in the USA. In America, it has been illegal to bear a arm since 1791 with the Second Amendment of the Constitution; However, some people want to limit this law and to establish gun control. We will answer the question ''To what extent is gun control a topical issue in the USA ?''. First, I will talk about the consequences of the right to bear arms and then, I will explain why gun control seems impossible in the USA.
Firstly, I will talk about the consequences of the right to bear arms in the USA. In this country, there are many crimes(Ok mais crimes veut dire aussi délits, tu peux mettre murders ou mieux killings) or attacks with guns. As we can see in a poster of Brady campaign, in one year, guns murdered about 9 500 people in the USA.(je suis très étonnée de ces chiffres) This number is really huge and it is much higher than in other countries where guns are controlled or prohibited like in Finland (17 deaths), in Australia (35 deaths) or in Germany (194 deaths). In the USA, many shootings took place. In 1999, two students shot many people at Columbine High School,(combien?) in Littleton, in Colorado. It was the most deadly shooting in a high school. In 2016, in Orlando, 50(no 49)people died in a shooting which took place in a nightclub for gay people. It was the must deadly shooting of the US' history(story , c'est une histoire que l'on raconte à un enfant par exemple ). These two shootings, like all other shootings, have upset American people.
Je trouve cela très bancal de mélanger les tueries "entre" Américains et les agissements terroristes de ISIS (nom anglais pour DAECH ) qui hélas se passent dans beaucoup de pays et n'ont rien à voir avec le second amendement puisque ce sont des actions terroristes (Paris a été mis à genoux et pourtant le port d'armes individuel est interdit)
So, the right to bear arms is at the origin of many shootings and many deaths. But, tragedies are repeated without changing anything. (il faut que tu trouves un ou plusieurs autres exemples que Orlando , cela ne colle pas, OK?)
Secondly, I will explain why gun control is impossible in the USA. After the shooting in Orlando, Barack Obama wanted to take measures to control weapons and to avoid other shootings.(on parle de terroristes , qu'il y ait un permis d'armes ou non , ils se font livrer les armes) For example, he wanted to make background checks compulsory. But, as all previous times(lesquels?), he didn't succeed.(The congress voted against his bill to control arms -et je ne parle pas d'ISIS) Indeed, many American people feel safer with guns.(Why , peux--tu expliquer pourquoi cet amendement a été voté(les premiers Américains n'avaient-ils pas besoin d'une arme pour chasser?) et comment la méfiance entraîne la méfiance et la banalisation ou encore la violence entraîne la violence?) They don't want to give them up. They have had the right to bear weapons since the 2nd Amendment was written. It is in the Constitution. Moreover, arm lobbies put pressure on politicians to prevent them from taking measures. It is the case of the NRA (National Rifle Association). Ten days after Columbine, Charlton Heston, the leader of the NRA cAme to Littleton for a big pro-gun rally. He said that nobody would stop him from carrying a gun and expressing his opinion. Despite the mourning, he managed to rally many people.
So, American presidents or politicians who tried to establish gun control, were stopped by lobbies which put forward their rigths in the Second Amendment.
To conclude, on the one hand, weapons murdered many people and are at the origin of many shootings in the USA. But, on the other hand, American people don't want to establish a gun control because they have the right to bear arms since the 2nd Amendment. Furthermore, they are manipulateD by lobbies. So, gun control is a topical issue in the USA.
is it a topical issue? If nobody has ever changed the second amendement for YEARS it is not topical (topical veut dire d'actualité)
avec "since " et "for" (depuis) il faut toujours mettre un present perfect (have+participe passé)
Il ne faut pas mélanger Daesh et le droit de porter des armes: peux tu trouver d'autres exemples?
Tu ne parles pas du sentiment d'insécurité / des problèmes entre les communautés
Ton anglais est de bonne tenue !! C'est pourquoi il serait dommage que ton correcteur te dise "quel rapport avec Daesh et le second amendement? Ils le revendiquent vous croyez?...tu comprends?
:)
Solsisi
Fidji 45 :)
Merci pour votre réponse! J'ai apporté de nombreuses modifications sur mes deux notions que je vous avais présentées MYTHES ET HÉROS ET LIEUX ET FORMES DE POUVOIR. Est ce que cela convient ? Et je vais réfléchir aux pistes de questions que vous m'avez données ! Merci !
De plus, j'ai une petite question : c'est ma prof d'espagnol qui m'a fait la remarque, pour les notions en espagnol, elle me reproche de ne pas faire de plan avec des axes directeurs précis censés me permettre de répondre à la problématique que j'énonce.
Pour l'anglais, et la notion Mythes et Héros, je ne trouve pas d'axes directeurs pour chaque partie...
Voici ma notion et les modifications que j'ai apportées sont les suivantes : modification de ma conclusion - rappel de la problématique et ce que celle-ci a permis de mettre en évidence.
De plus, il me faut un troisième document en anglais, il en faut trois minimum et je n'en ai que deux. Donc je vous remontrerai ma notion une fois terminée aussi.
I have chosen to talk about the notion of Myths and Heroes and I have therefore focused on the topic of The American Dream. The American Dream is the concept that everybody has the same chances to climb up the social ladder, no matter where he starts from. Indeed, it implies that everybody, with hard work can go from rags to riches. First of all, let’s define the notion of Myths and Heroes. A hero is a person admired for his or her achievements, noble qualities and great courage. A myth can be an ancient story about old mystical beliefs or tradition representing the ideals and institutions of a society. We may answer the question "is the American Dream a myth or a reality ? I am going to focus on the picture of Pismestrovic published in 2004 which represents the American dream. Then, I am going to show that the American dream can be diverted and that reality can be quite different sometimes. For that purpose, I am going to chose the black and white picture taken in 1937 during the Louisville Flood by a photographer called Margaret Bourke-White.
QUEL AXE DIRECTEUR POURRAIT CONVENIR ?
My first document by Pismestrovic and published in 2004 is a collection of pictures referring to the symbols of America and to iconic characters. It highlights this American Dream with many monuments such as the Empire State Building, Mount Rushmore or the Statue of Liberty which are very famous. We can't speak about the American Dream without evoking the flag, and also famous presidents as Abraham Lincoln who fought against slavery and John Fidgerald Kennedy who fought for the poorest and the cause of the African Americans. There are also cultural icons such as Marilyn Monroe and Elvis Presley, that influenced generations. The American dream has always been like a motto to bring hope to the American people who, thanks to hard work,could make their dream come true.
QUEL AXE DIRECTEUR POURRAIT CONVENIR ?
However, the reality is quite different. One of the main points being made in the black and white photography by Margaret Bourke-White is that there exists a clear cut distinction between dreams and reality. The white Americans seem to be the perfect picture of a family living the American Dream but the Afro-Americans completely contradict the message. If the American way was truly the best way, why are Afro-Americans the only ones waiting in line for food? Margaret Bourke-White strongly enhances the fact that two worlds exist, that a color barrier in society at that time seemed unbreakable. A lot of negativity is rendered in her pictures. It points out how the stereotypes of the “American Dream” : here the majority of people are denied equal chances and no one seems to be concerned about their despair. Once again, the message is that everybody can't live up to the American dream.
To conclude, the question "is the American Dream a myth or a reality ?" allowed me to show that the American dream can exist through monuments and famous personalities having influenced the generations. But it appears especially as a sign of hope for the Americans, practicable thanks to the relentless work. However, there is an inaccessible dream for the Afro-Americans, considered as lower than the period. I think it is intersting to underline that there has been a generation of African Americans that have benefited from equal chances and could therefore be part of The American Dream. In the 70s and 80s African American people were given a true chance to have a fair education because quotas were imposed on schools. All Americans had a chance to go to prestigious high-schools and universities if they met the schools standards. Nowadays however and mainly in the South, the quotas are not applied and kids from differents backgrounds (white or black) are no longer mingled but live parallel lives. The quotas were never written in the constitution and so the schools are not tied down by an amendement.
Pour ma deuxième notion "Lieux et formes de pouvoir" , j'ai apporté les modifications suivantes : J'ai tout modifié, de l'introduction à la conclusion, et j'ai rappelé dans celle-ci la problématique et ce qu'elle a permis de mettre en évidence.
J'ai réussi à trouver des axes directeurs pour cette notion, je vous les ai fait apparaître en caractère gras dans mon introduction, dites moi si ils conviennent. J'ai rajouté de nombreux détails, donc merci de bien vouloir relire ma notion dans son intégralité :)
I'm going to talk about the notion of Places and forms of power. To introduce this notion, I would like to give a definition of this concept: Places are major buildings or institutions that represent a certain form of power, for example Buckingham Palace, a symbol of the British monarchy,Big Ben, the Houses of Parliament and other places. Power is the ability to influence the behavior of people. There are various types of power. it can be economic, political, psychological. In order to live together, members of a community accept rules, regulations,or laws. This helps to create social cohesion but can also lead to conflicts and tensions. We could ask ourselves the following question: "Do all American citizens approve the gun legislation?" Firstly, I am going to show the dangers to this legislation of arms. Secondly, I am going to speak to the fight against to carrying arms. For that purpose, I am going to take the article of Colombine High School massacre and also the slaughter in "Sandy Hook". Then, I chose the document called "Brady Campaign" and I will show that everybody does not accept arms.
To illustrate our problem, I am going to focus on the population favorable to this legislation that is the carrying of firearms. For example, the Second Amendement to the United States Constitution protects the right of the people to keep and bear arms and was adopted on December 15, 1791, as part of the first ten amendments contained in the Bill of Rights. All the American population is thus legally authorized to possess a firearms. However, with the authorization to buy and to carry firearms, many people consider the firearm as a game, it can represent a real danger and students are not really conscious of the impact they can have. We can quote the article of Shooting of Columbine, a slaughter which had occurred April 20th, 1999 to the grammar school Columbine in the State of the Colorado, in the United States. Two pupils, Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold, killed twelve pupils and a professor, and hurt more or less seriously twenty four other pupils. Harris and Klebold committed suicide after the shooting. This event was the most murderous fifth massacre in a school in the United States. This massacre caused a big emotion in the United States and created a social psychosis on the terrorism, on the laws of control of firearms, impact of the video games, music and the movies. Indeed, numerous movies, books or musics were inspired by the massacre of Columbine, in particular the documentary "Bowling for Columbine" by Michael Moore. I think also of the slaughter by Adam Lanza, the murderer which took place in " Sandy Hook "the elementary school on December 14th, 2012, in the United States, causing the death of his mother and 28 people among which 20 children.
Now I will move on to my second part. The document I will use to illustrate my point with is “Brady Campaign” and I am going to show that everybody does not accept firearms. This campaign targets the population, his aim is to raise people's awareness, to change the law, to forbid the right to buy and to carry firearms in the United States. The campaigners' goals are to highlight the tragedy of gun crime in the United States in particular.
Finally, the question "Do all American citizens approve the gun legislation ?" allowed me to show that various associations are present to warn people, to make them understand that arms are dangerous and it would be necessary to forbid them everywhere, and especially in schools. Moreover, American citizens don't need weapons to defend themselves because firearms bring violence and incite to commit crimes. Indeed, 30.000 people die every year. This data cumulates homicides, suicides and accidents.
Pour ce qui est du mot firearms, il signifie tout simplement "armes à feu" et il est utilisé aux États-Unis.
fidji45
bonsoir
J'ai décidémment du mal à te répondre car je corrige et mon cursueur se bloque et impossible d'envoyer le message
Je ne sais pas pourquoi ta prof d'espagnol te parle d'axes directeurs ,ici ton sujet d'anglais est clair donc je peux te proposer des sortes de titres qui te serviraient de mini introductions, c'est tout. Tu fais des répétitions et tu n'as pas tenu compte de toutes mes remarques (ou de certains???? qui visaient à ta faire réfléchir sur la cohérence du propos)
Tu comprendras que ce n'est pas à moi de te fournir ton texte personnel même si je peux t'en suggérer un. je ne comprends pas pourquoi tu as voulu ajouter des phrases qui n'apportent pas grand chose et qui ne sont pas correctes.
je te propose:
I have chosen to talk about the notion of Myths and Heroes and I have therefore focused on the topic of The American Dream. The American Dream is the concept that everybody has the same chances to climb up the social ladder, no matter where he starts from. Indeed, it implies that everybody, with hard work can go from rags to riches. First of all, let’s define the notion of Myths and Heroes. A hero is a person admired for his or her achievements, noble qualities and great courage. A myth can be an ancient story about old mystical beliefs or tradition representing the ideals and institutions of a society. We may answer the question "is the American Dream a myth or a reality ? I am going to focus on the picture of Pismestrovic published in 2004 which represents the American dream. Then, I am going to show that the American dream can be diverted and that reality can be quite different sometimes. For that purpose, I am going to chose the black and white picture taken in 1937 during the Louisville Flood by a photographer called Margaret Bourke-White.
QUEL AXE DIRECTEUR POURRAIT CONVENIR ?Famous buildings and iconic people who stand for the American Dream
My first document by Pismestrovic and published in 2004 is a collection of pictures referring to the symbols of America and to iconic characters. It highlights this American Dream with many monuments such as the Empire State Building, Mount Rushmore or the Statue of Liberty which are very famous. We can't speak about the American Dream without evoking the flag(ici j'avais mis ??? :en effet un drapeau représente une nation, pas le rêve américain!), and also famous presidents as Abraham Lincoln who fought against slavery and John Fidgerald Kennedy who fought for the poorest and the cause of the African Americans. There are also cultural icons such as Marilyn Monroe and Elvis Presley, that influenced generations. The American dream has always been like a motto to bring hope to the American people who, thanks to hard work,could make their dream come true.
QUEL AXE DIRECTEUR POURRAIT CONVENIR ?Is the American Dream still vivid nowadays? reality seems to be quite different. One of the main points being made in the black and white photography by Margaret Bourke-White is that there exists a clear cut distinction between dreams and reality. The white Americans seem to be the perfect picture of a family living the American Dream but the Afro-Americans completely contradict the message. If the American way was truly the best way, why are Afro-Americans the only ones waiting in line for food? Margaret Bourke-White strongly enhances the fact that two worlds exist, that a color barrier in society at that time seemed unbreakable. A lot of negativity is rendered in her pictures. It points out how the stereotypes of the “American Dream” : here the majority of people are denied equal chances and no one seems to be concerned about their despair. Once again, the message is that everybody can't live up to the American dream.
To conclude, the question "is the American Dream a myth or a reality ?" allowed me to show that the American dream can exist through monuments and famous personalities having influenced the generations. But it appears especially as a sign of hope for the Americans, practicable(no: attainable, reachable) thanks to the relentless work. (However, there is an inaccessible dream for the Afro-Americans, considered as lower than the period)ceci ne le mets pas: ce n'est pas du bon anglais et je t'avais expliqué que la situation n'est pas aussi tranchée). I think it is intersting to underline that there has been a generation of African Americans that have benefited from equal chances and could therefore be part of The American Dream. In the 70s and 80s African American people were given a true chance to have a fair education because quotas were imposed on schools. All Americans had a chance to go to prestigious high-schools and universities if they met the schools standards. Nowadays however and mainly in the South, the quotas are not applied and kids from differents backgrounds (white or black) are no longer mingled but live parallel lives. The quotas were never written in the constitution and so the schools are not tied down by an amendement.
La situation n'est pas celle que tu décris : même si il est plus dur pour les Noirs Américains d'atteindre leur rêve , cela fut u temps possible : ici tu peux peut-être prendre pour document le discours d'Obama "yes we can" , un Noir Américain qui a su se hisser au plus haut poste.
Il y a beaucoup de gens qui vivent sous le seuil de pauvreté au Etats Unis, Blancs et Noirs; des familles qui vivent avec des enfants en bas âge sous des tentes et dans la rue en espérant un logement social.Inutile de leur parler du rêve américain !Le "filet" social aux Etats Unis est très mince et tu serais surprise de voir que beaucoup de gens ont deux jobs et que beaucoup d'entre eux (surtout avant Obama care) n'allaient jamais chez le dentiste ou le médecin d'où une auto médication avec des médicaments peu efficaces accessibles en supermarché "over the counter" (accès libre)
Ce sont ces Blancs pauvres et oubliés , ouvrier ou petit agriculteur, qui ont porté Trump au pouvoir parce qu'ils pensaient qu'il "make America great again"Maintenant qu'il est élu il tweet (???) , change d'avis tous les jours sur tous les sujets et il a deux hobbies: rappeler qu'il a été élu et joué au golf (16 fois depuis son élection/Obama lui n'avait pas touché un club!!)
Donc il faut alléger ta conclusion en en transférant ne partie avec ton document libre pour dire que si Obama par exemple a réussi la grande majorité des Américains a subi le choc de 2008 des subprimes de façon très frontale : perte d'emploi, impossibilité de rembourser leurs maisons, mis à la rue avec fracas.
Voilà quelques idées . Crois -moi le "rêve" américain a toujours bien porté son nom!
(Pour ma deuxième notion "Lieux et formes de pouvoir" , j'ai apporté les modifications suivantes : J'ai tout modifié, de l'introduction à la conclusion, et j'ai rappelé dans celle-ci la problématique et ce qu'elle a permis de mettre en évidence.
J'ai réussi à trouver des axes directeurs pour cette notion, je vous les ai fait apparaître en caractère gras dans mon introduction, dites moi si ils conviennent. J'ai rajouté de nombreux détails, donc merci de bien vouloir relire ma notion dans son intégralité )
I am going to talk about the notion of Places and forms of power. To introduce this notion, I would like to give a definition of this concept: Places are major buildings or institutions that represent a certain form of power, for example Buckingham Palace, a symbol of the British monarchy,Big Ben(comment peux-tu justifier que big Ben représente un lieu de pouvoir?), the Houses of Parliament and other places. Power is the ability to influence the behavior of people. There are various types of power. it can be economic, political, psychological. In order to live together, members of a community accept rules, regulations,or laws. This helps to create social cohesion but can also lead to conflicts and tensions. We could ask ourselves the following question: "Do all American citizens approve the gun legislation?" Firstly, I am going to show the dangof this legislation of arms. Secondly, I am going to speak to the fight against to carrying arms. For that purpose, I am going to take the article of Colombine High School massacre and also the slaughter in "Sandy Hook". Then, I chose the document called "Brady Campaign" and I will show that everybody does not accept arms.
To illustrate our issue, I am going to focus on the people who are in favour of firearms. For example(pourquoi for example, il n'y a que cet exemple,donc à enlever), the Second Amendement to the United States Constitution protects the right of the people to keep and bear arms and was adopted on December 15, 1791, as part of the first ten amendments contained in the Bill of Rights. All the American population is thus legally authorized to possess firearms. However, with the authorization to buy and to carry firearms, many people consider the firearm as a game, it can represent a real danger and students are not really conscious of the impact they can have. We can quote the article of Shooting of Columbine, a slaughter which occurred April 20th, 19at the grammar school Columbine in the State of the Colorado, in the United States. Two pupils, Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold, killed twelve pupils and a teacher, and hurt more or less seriously twenty four other pupils. Harris and Klebold committed suicide after the shooting.
JE SUIS OBLIGEE D ARRETER LA CAR J AI DES PROBLEMES POUR ECRIRE DONC JE PREFERE T4ENVOYER LA PREMIERE PARTIE CORRIGEE This event was the most murderous fifth massacre in a school in the United States. This massacre caused a big emotion in the United States and created a social psychosis on the terrorism, on the laws of control of firearms, impact of the video games, music and the movies. Indeed, numerous movies, books or musics were inspired by the massacre of Columbine, in particular the documentary "Bowling for Columbine" by Michael Moore. I think also of the slaughter by Adam Lanza, the murderer which took place in " Sandy Hook "the elementary school on December 14th, 2012, in the United States, causing the death of his mother and 28 people among which 20 children.
Now I will move on to my second part. The document I will use to illustrate my point with is “Brady Campaign” and I am going to show that everybody does not accept firearms. This campaign targets the population, his aim is to raise people's awareness, to change the law, to forbid the right to buy and to carry firearms in the United States. The campaigners' goals are to highlight the tragedy of gun crime in the United States in particular.
Finally, the question "Do all American citizens approve the gun legislation ?" allowed me to show that various associations are present to warn people, to make them understand that arms are dangerous and it would be necessary to forbid them everywhere, and especially in schools. Moreover, American citizens don't need weapons to defend themselves because firearms bring violence and incite to commit crimes. Indeed, 30.000 people die every year. This data cumulates homicides, suicides and accidents.
Pour ce qui est du mot firearms, il signifie tout simplement "armes à feu" et il est utilisé aux États-Unis
Siria
Bonsoir,
Je viens de terminer ma fiche sur la notion "seats and forms of power".Toutefois, je ne suis absolument pas certaine de ce que j'ai rédigé. Est-il possible de me corriger ? (le seul bémol étant que je passe mon oral le 11/05/17 donc il ne me reste pas beaucoup de temps pour rectifier le tir).
Merci d'avance
I'm going to talk about the notion of seats and forms of power. First, I would like to give a definition of the notion. Power is the ability to influence or to control the behavior of others. It could be a political or social authority exerciced by a government or an institution. But some groups like lobbies can abuse of their power or used to do pressure on the government. In order, to illustrate this notion, I have chosen to talk about gun control in the USA and I will focus on the key question : How violence is become an almighty power in the USA ? For answer, I have chosen two documents : the script of Littleton Massacre and the film Bowling For Columbine.
Firstly in the USA, the 2nd Amendment of the American Constitution allows people to bear a gun and to keep it loaded at home. Moreover, this right shall not be infriged according to the Constitution. Since then, a major part of citizens and organizations such as the NRA have considered this as an inalienable right and have consequently been opposed to any laws in favor of guns control. That is why the gun culture is deeply rooted in american society. For example Bowling For Columbine by Michael Moore emphasizes that. Indeed the easy access to gun is a real issue. As a matter of fact, the narrator could buy bullets and firearm at the supermarket without a gun license. Then, the media through crimes coverages can be blamed for spreading fear. Consequently, people sleep with gun loaded under their pillows and they are more apt to resort to violence.
However guns can fall into the wrong hand and be used by criminals or deranged people to cause horrendous bloodbath. Indeed slaughters have affected many scholls such as Colombine high school in Colorado in 1999 where two students shot twenty-five persons before committed suicide. The president of the United States at the time said that "America will wake up and prevent such things from happening in the future". Similarly, Barack Obama wanted to take measures to control weapons and to avoid others shooting. But he didn't succeed because the congress voted against his bill to control arms. Indeed arm lobbies put pressure on politicians to deter them from taking measures. It is the case of the NRA. Ten days after the massacre at Columbine, her leader came to Littleton for a big pro-gun rally.
To conclude, on the one hand weapons murdered many people each year in the USA. But on the other hand to carry a gun is an important right for americans. So, violece is an almighty power because of the culture of weapon and the manipulation by lobbies.
fidji45
bonsoir
Je vais te proposer comme d'habitude des corrections que je mettrai en majuscules pour qu'elles soient visible
(Je viens de terminer ma fiche sur la notion "seats and forms of power".Toutefois, je ne suis absolument pas certaine de ce que j'ai rédigé. Est-il possible de me corriger ? (le seul bémol étant que je passe mon oral le 11/05/17 donc il ne me reste pas beaucoup de temps pour rectifier le tir).
Merci d'avance)
NORMALEMENT CETTE NOTION EST: PLACES AND FORMS OF POWER (a seat:un siège)
I'm going to talk about the notion of PLACES and forms of power. First, I would like to give a definition of thE TERM POWER. Power is the ability to influence or to control the behavior of others. It CAN be a political or social authority exerciced by a government or an institution. But some groups like lobbies can ACT ABUSIVELY WITH their power or use IT to PUT pressure on the government OF A GIVEN COUNTRY. In order to illustrate this notion, I have chosen to talk about gun control in the USA and I will focus on thIS key question : WHY IS violence AND THE MURDER RATE SO HIGH in the USA ? TO ILLUSTRATE MY POINT OF VIEW I have chosen two documents : the script of Littleton Massacre and the film Bowling For Columbine.
Firstly in the USA, the 2nd Amendment of the American Constitution allows people to bear a gun and to keep it loaded at home. Moreover, this right shall not be infriged according to the Constitution. Since then, a major part of citizens and organizations such as the NRA have considered this as an inalienable right and have consequently been opposed to any laws in favor of A CONTROL OVER GUNS . That is why the gun culture is deeply rooted in American society. For example Bowling For Columbine by Michael Moore emphasizes that.(METTRE LA DATE CE QUE C'EST .....) Indeed the easy access to gun is a real issue. As a matter of fact,WE SEE THAT the narrator IS ABLE TO buy bullets and A firearm at the supermarket without a gun license
The media through crimes coverages can be blamed for spreading fear. Consequently, people sleep with A gun loaded under their pillows and they are more apt to resort to violence.
However guns can fall in the wrong handS and be used by criminals or DISTURBED people to cause horrendous bloodbathS. Indeed slaughters have affected schoOLS such as Colombine high school in Colorado in 1999 where two students shot twenty-five PEOPLE (one person, two people) before committING suicide. The President of the United States at the time((dire qui, on te le demandera) said that "America will wake up and prevent such things from happening in the future". Similarly, Barack Obama wanted to take measures to control weapons and to avoid other shootingS. But he didn't succeed because the congress voted against his bill to control arms. Indeed arm lobbies put pressure on politicians to deter them from taking measures. It is the case of the NRA. Ten days after the massacre at Columbine, ITS leader (encore une fois,qui?)came to Littleton for a HUGE pro-gun rally.
AS A CONCLUSION WE HAVE SEEN THAT on the one hand MANY PEOPLE ARE KILLED EVERY year in the USA AND THAT MOST AMERICAN PEOPLE ARE AFRAID FOR THEIR OWN SAFETY SO THEY BUY GUNS; But on the other hand to carry a gun is an important right for Americans. IF THE POWER OF THE GUN LOBBY ,THE NRA, WASN'T SO STRONG THERE WOULD BE LESS PRESSURE AND THEREFORE LESS DEATHS.
THE NEW AMERICAN PRESIDENT HAS THE SUPPORT OF THE GUN LOBBY SO THINGS ARE NOT GOING TO CHANGE FOR THE COMING YEARS AND VIOLENCE WILL ALAS GO ON (continuer)
Voilà tu peux me demander bien sûr ce que tu ne comprends pas
J'ai "ouvert" ta conclusion sur une actualité et l'amorce d'un nouveau sujet .C'est apprécié par les enseignants
Comme tu as bientôt ton examen , je te souhaite bonne chance . Sois bien attentive aux questions que l'on va te poser et ne crains pas trop cet oral : le professeur a reçu comme consignes d'être dans une "écoute bienveillante" :)
Siria
re-bonjour :)
Merci encore pour votre efficacité et pour vos encouragements ^^ C'est vrai que j'ai beaucoup travaillé l'oral en sachant que je ne saurai pas redire mot pour mot ce que j'ai écrit ci-dessous x)
Justement concernant la notion, c'est écrit "Seats and forms of power" dans le résumé fourni par ma prof, du coup j'ai préféré m'aligner dessus ? Bon après, ce n'est pas la mer à boire de changer ce petit détail. J'ai vu que vous aviez modifié la problématique : la mienne est-elle trop "offensive" ? J'ai peur de ne pas être très impartiale sur le sujet des armes. Hum pour le président à l'époque, il me semble que c'est Bill Clinton ? Et le directeur de la NRA est Charlton Heston ?
fidji45
Pour la notion : il faut absolument mettre Places and forms of power , c'est le terme généralement accepté (seats c'est un siège:je soupire d'énervement (si c'est possible) de voir que des profs mettent des trucs pareils )Ce n'est PAS un détail . Votre sujet se passe aux Etats-Unis d'où le PLACES et le forme du pouvoir exercée (forms of power) est le lobby des armes qui est très puissant et peut faire et défaire une élection en
-donnant de l'argent ou non au candidat et même beaucoup d'argent. le NRA est un des syndicats les plus puissants comme celui des chauffeurs de camions (truck drivers)
-en faisant voter une partie de la population pour ou contre lui
votre problématique est bien : je l'ai modifiée pour la rendre tout à fait claire et je l'ai un peu enrichie, c'est tout; Votre sujet n'est pas trop offensif ,c'est la triste réalité! Comment peut-on rester impartiale face à l'usage des armes (si vous cherchez le nombre de mots par an par armes à feu aux Etats Unis, c'est colossal:ne vous inquiétez pas !
oui c'est bien Bill Clinton
(sans doute charlton heston ,je vous fais confiance!)
Surtout : enlever SEAT (qui est un siège d'avion, de voiture....et n'a AUCUN rapport avec le sujet et dites le autour de vous !!)
vous pouvez allez vérifier sur le net: il y a des blogs, des sites qui reprennent les termes appropriés
Sur ce site j'ai corrigé beaucoup de sujets et vous êtes la première à me proposer "seats" ;)
Siria
D'accord, j'ai compris même si je ne comprends pas pourquoi notre professeur a fait cette erreur (ce n'est pas la mienne puisque c'est un document polycopié qui nous a été fourni pour faciliter nos révisions). Du coup j'ai modifié partout où se trouvait la faute. Votre problématique est en effet plus détaillée que la mienne, je vais la garder si cela ne vous dérange pas !
Merci beaucoup encore !
fidji45
ok ;)
Siria
Hello !
Je passe juste par ici pour signaler que je suis tombée sur la notion lieux et formes du pouvoir et cela s'est très bien passé.
Merci encore pour votre aide fidji45 !
fidji45
Siria!!
Je suis très contente pour toi!!
Bravo!! :)
MLC1
Bonjour, je viens de finir mon dossier pour mon oral de langue vivante approfondie sur la notion Lieux et formes de pouvoirs, j'aimerais un correction des fautes que j'ai pu faire mais également des avis sur le fond et la forme, je vous remercie d'avance :D
I am going to deal with the notion “places and forms of power."
First of all I'd like to give a definition of the notion. The term “Places” denotes important buildings or institutions. Power is the ability to control others, events or resources; the ability to make things happen despite obstacles, opposition.
To illustrate this notion I will talk about the power of passion that's to say - How can artists and athletes, using their passion, have an impact on a social problem such as racism in the United States?
To answer these questions, I will use 3 documents, the first is a newspaper article written by david E and published on february 16 2009 by america magazine, the second document which is also my personal document is a work by emory douglas, finally, the third and last document is a newspaper article published by Tim-Hime on august 29 2016.
In December 1865 slavery was abolished, nevertheless as early as 1876 Afro-Americans faced the Jim Crow laws whose purpose was to maintain Blacks separated from whites to narrowed their civil rights.
Over these years racial tensions were highest and the gap between black and white seemed insurmountable. Nonetheless in the 60's the movement of civil rights flourished. It tried to improve the living conditions for black people and equality in the law
My first document is a newspaper article which honours the 50 years of Motown whose founder is Berry Gordy.
He is an african american. He develops his taste in music by writing songs and launches the Motown Records Corporation in 1959.
Despite the fact that music of african americans seldom exceeded the boundaries of community, The Motown provides an opportunity to Berry Gordy to give the floor to Talented black artists
In this way, The label will produce the bulk of black music of the 60's and will export worldwide. Marvin gaye, The jackson five, stevie wonder, the temptations will be spokespersons of the african-american culture countrywide.
Black music played by blacks has become tremendously popular in America's civil rights struggle. They enabled to lower the tensions and to bring people together.
Furthermore, motown produced the record of the speech "i have a dream" by martin luther king in detroit in 1963. berry gordy managed the blending of genres, the audiences and artists beyond the skin colour and to accompany hope of recoil the racial barriers.
The year 1964 marks a turning point in the struggle for the emancipation of black people. The civil rights act banned, in principle at least, segregation. The social reality is quite different. Black people are overwhelmingly proletarian and undergo the two-fold oppression of capitalism and racism, their rights are in fact solely formal.
Increasingly young people campaign for emergence of movements more proactive especially from 1966.
The black panther party is the result of the meeting of two young activists Huey P. Newton et Bobby Seale, à Oakland in California
The party fought against police violence by organizing armed patrols to oversee police and led solidarity campaigns to the african american community.
Around 1969 it was claiming 10 000 members. Its newspaper “black panther” whose Leroy Eldridge Cleaver was the editor in chief affected 250 000 persons
Emory Douglas is an artist who was an integral part of black panther party, he became Minister for Culture in 1967 and designed artwork which became powerful symbols of the movement
My second document which is also my personal document is one of his posters. It represents a group of Afro-Americans with machine-guns.
He issues a clear message to african americans, you must take arms! He fosters his community to start a revolution until things are genuinely different.
He conceives tasteful artwork both loud and useful. Useful for the people and for the fight/combat. He sees his work as a weapon.
His works are social criticism which have inspired several people to act. He uses his passion for imparting with people, he's aware that the black community doesn't read. He opted to put his knowledge in illustration at the service off a graphical language, easy, direct and impactful, specifically targeted the masses and black neighborhoods
Emory Douglas was in position to shed some light, inform and educate people to take a
stand and withstand against repression while being at the core of the fight.
In the early 80's attacks on party and the internal divisions led to the collapse of the party
However, the revolutionary commitment of emory douglas survived over the years in its content and its shape. More than 150 years after slavery, the issue of relations between blacks and whites has never ceased to divide the country.
Today people are still find of the relevance in his work.
Despite the fact that barack obama became the first black president in 2008, blacks remain largely poorer than whites, they very often confront police ill-treatment.
In 2013, 27 percent of african american lived below the poverty line.
The movement Black Lives matter showed up in july 2013 via a hashtag on twitter after the death of several unarmed black under the bullets of white police officers. It became the rallying slogan of the American anti-racism youth.
My third and last document is a newspaper article by time-hime published in 2016.
Colin kaepernick is an african american quarterback from san francisco team.On august
26, 2016 during a game he refused to get up for the american anthem.
Through this gesture he denounced the police violence against the african american and the systematic acquittal of the police officers who are the authors.
In 2016 there were 173 black persons murdered by authorities in the united states.
faced with his gesture, the reactions were mixed.
A higher-ranking executive of the national football league described him a traitor. Some fans chose to burn down his jersey
at the same time he became the hero of the movement black lives matter, his jersey became biggest-selling of the league.
colin kaepernick promised to remit money to associations that combat racism as well as a check worth one million dollars
It is a revolutionary act since he took along his activism on the ground whereas American regard the sporting enclosures as neutral spaces. He was joined by a growing number of athletes through the country.
Beyond, Black Lives MATER is from now on a platform and a network of several thousands of people. The group incarnates “a call to the action and an answer to the violent racism against black people which infiltrates our society“, the organization indicates on its website.
To conclude, whether their names are Berry Gordy, Emory Douglas or Colin Kaepernick, they are men who have all used their passions to try to make things happen.
Berry Gordy succeeded in bringing people together and to ease the tensions during the civil right movement thanks to his production of Afro-American artists and his soul music. Emory Douglas through his art wanted to convey a strong message to his people in order to awaken consciences and encourage his community to fight for their rights.
Finally, Colin Kapearnick as a quaterback used his celebrity and influence to pass a strong message to the American people. He also used his fortune to help anti-racism associations. Moreover, his gesture has led to a mobilization against racism in the world of sport.
fidji45
bonjour MLC1
J'ai corrigé des erreurs en lettres majuscules et il m'arrive de mettre des (?) quand je trouve la phrase mal venue ou bancale, voir incompréhensible. Merci donc de la reformuler. L'ensemble me paraît un peu long!
la notion lieux et formes du pouvoir
I am going to deal with the notion “places and forms of power
First of all I'd like to give a definition of the notion. The term “Places” CAN DESCRIBE important buildings or institutions (AS WELL AS CITIES OR COUNTRIES) Power is the ability to control others, events or resources;iT IS the ability to make things happen despite obstacles,.
To illustrate this notion I will talk about the power of passion AND FOCUS ON THE ISSUE: - How can artists and athletes, using their passion, have an impact on a social problem such as racism in the United States?
To answer these questions, I will use 3 documents, the first is a newspaper article written by david E (spécifiez) and published on February 16 th 2009(dire the sixteenth of February) by America magazine, the second document which is my personal document is a work by Emory Douglas, finally, the third document is a newspaper article published by Tim-Hime on August 29 2016.
In December 1865 slavery was abolished, nevertheless as early as 1876 Afro-Americans faced the Jim Crow laws WHICH purpose was to maintain Blacks separated from Whites to narrowed theri rights. (on doit dire pour Black people : African Americans en théorie)
Over these years racial tensions were high and the gap between black and Whites seemed insurmountable. Nonetheless in the 60's the movement FOR civil rights flourished AS BOTH BLACK AND SOME WHITE PEOPLE REBELLED AGAINST SEGREGATION;
My first document is a newspaper article which CELEBRATES the 50 years of Motown whose founder is Berry Gordy.
He is an African American. He developED his taste FOR music by writing songs and launcheD the Motown Records Corporation in 1959.
Despite the fact that music BY African Americans seldom exceeded the boundaries of community, The Motown MUSIC provideD Berry Gordy THE OPPORTUNITY TO PUT FORWARD talented black artists. The label produceD the bulk of black music of the 60's and wAS exportED worldwide. Marvin gaye, The Jackson Five, Stevie Wonder, The Temptations BECAME THE spokespEOPLE of the African-American MUSIC culture countrywide.
Black music played by blacks becAme tremendously popular DURING THE FIGHT FOR CIVIL RIGHTS . IT HAD THE POWER TO lower the tensions and to bring people together.
Furthermore, motown produced the record of the speech "i have a dream" by martin luther king in detroit in 1963 (le "I have a dream" le plus connu est celui que fit MLK in front of the Lincoln memorial in Washington DC.=check the souces, OK?) berry gordy managed the blending of genres, the audiences and artists beyond the skin colour and to accompany hope of recoil the racial barriers.(je ne comprends pas cette phrase)
The year 1964 IS a turning point in the struggle for the emancipation of black people. The civil rights act banned segregation. (EVEN IF THERE WAS STILL SOME RESISTANCE TO IT )The social reality was tough for African AMERICANS. Black people WERE AT THE BOTTOM OF THE SOCIAL SCALE (though efforts were made to impose quotas in school to improve their education) and underWENT the two-fold oppression of capitalism and racism, their rights are in fact solely formal.NON: IL Y A EU DES AVANCEES NOTOIRES;
Increasingly young people campaign for emergence of movements more proactive especially from 1966.
(The black panther party is the result of the meeting of two young activists Huey P. Newton et Bobby Seale, à Oakland in California)The Black Panther MOVEMENT WAS CREATED BY MALCOM x AND WAS NOT INTENDED AS A PACIFIST MOVEMENT -FAR FROM THAT- LIKE THE MOVEMENT LED BY mARTIN LUTHER KING;The party fought against police violence by organizing armed patrols and led solidarity campaigns to the african american community.(attention on tombe trop dans du descriptif!!)
Emory Douglas WAS an artist who was A CONVINCED MEMBER of THE black panther party, he became Minister for Culture in 1967 FOR THE BLACK PANTHER PARTY and designed artwork which became powerful symbols of the movement;
My second document which is also my personal document is one of his posters. It represents a group of Afro-Americans with machine-guns.
He issues a clear message to African Americans, you must take arms! He ENCOURAGES his community to start a revolution until things are genuinely different.He conceives tasteful artwork both loud and useful. Useful for the people and for thEIR STRUGGLE. He sees his work as a weapon.
His works are social criticism which have inspired several people to act. He uses his passion for imparting with people, BECAUSE HE IS aware that SOME PEOPLE FROM the black community doesn't read. He opted to put his knowledge THROUGH illustrationS AND CREATED a graphical easy, direct and impactful LANGUAGE (j'enlève de choses qui ont déjà été dites)
Emory Douglas was in position to shed some light, inform and educate people to take a stand against repression while being at the core of the fight.
In the early 80's attacks on The Black Panther movement led to the collapse of the party
However, the revolutionary commitment of Emory Douglas survived over the years in its content and its shape. More than 150 years after slavery, the issue of the relationsHIPS between blacks and whites has never ceased to divide the country.
Today people still find relevance in his work.
((Despite the fact that barack obama became the first black president in 2008, blacks remain largely poorer than whites, they very often confront police ill-treatment. In 2013, 27 percent of african american lived below the poverty line.
The movement Black Lives matter showed up in july 2013 via a hashtag on twitter after the death of several unarmed black under the bullets of white police officers. It became the rallying slogan of the American anti-racism youth.))C'est interessant mais c'est à la limite du hors sujet .De plus vous voyez que vous contredisez votre idée première qui est que les lignes ont du mal à bouger: elles bougent puisque Obama a été élu president des Etats- Unis 50 ans après les émeutes pour les droits civiques . De même attention de ne pas dire que TOUS les Noirs ne savaient pas lire.....
My third and last document is a newspaper article by time-hime published in 2016.(quelle est le "tendance de ce journal, il faut analyser les faits)
Colin kaepernick is an African American quarterback from the San Francisco team.On August 26TH, 2016 during a game he refused to get up for the American anthem .
Through this gesture he denounced the police violence against the African Americans (des exemples??) and the systematic acquittal of the police officers who are the authors.
In 2016 there were 173 black persons murdered by authorities in the United States.(des exemples, Ferguson etc...)
faced with his gesture, the reactions were mixed.
A higher-ranking executive of the national football league described him a traitor. Some fans chose to burn down his jersey
at the same time he became the hero of the movement" black lives matter", his jersey became the biggest-selling of the league.
Colin Kaepernick promised to DONATE THE money to associations that combat racism as well as a check worth one million dollars
It is a revolutionary act since he OPENLY SHOWED his activism on the ground whereas American regardED SPORTS AS NEUTRAL PLACES . He was joined by a growing number of athletes through the country.
Beyond, Black Lives MATTERS is from now on a platform and a network FOLLOWED several thousands of people. The group EMBODIES “a call to the action and an answer to the violent racism against black people which infiltrates our society“, the organization indicates on its website.
To conclude, whether their names are Berry Gordy, Emory Douglas or Colin Kaepernick, they are men who have all used their passions to try to make things happen.THEY ALL BE IT THROUGH MUSIC, PAINTINGS OR SPORTS , FOUND NEW MEANS TO EXPRESS THEIR IDEAS .
THEY TOUCHED PEOPLE VERY EASILY AND BROADLY ;THEIR IDEAS HAD MORE IMPACT THAN A LONG AND THEORETICAL SPEECH;
J'enlève la fin qui ne fait que répéter ce que l'on sait déjà
-il faut que l'on distingue mieux vos trois parties
-merci de m'expliquer les deux, trois phrases "floues"
quand vous parlez du sportif qui a refusr de se lever pendant l'hyme national , pouvez checher ces deux coureurs qui sont arrivés premier et troisième et qui ont tendu le poing lors de l'hymne américain ? Ils étaient membres des Black panthers et leurs geste est très connu et vous risquez d'être interrogé dessus, soyez prêt!!
:)
J'ai corrigé l'essntiel des fautes (à part ce que je ne comprenais pas ,il reste quelques tournures moins heureuses mais qui "passent" ) Il faut que vous expliquiez quel est ce journal dont vous parlez, ête de façon générale , plus précis et critique que descriptif . l'ensemble est cohérent (je trouve l'idée de la Motown originale je ne suis pas sûre que j'aurais avancer l'idée qu'elle permettait de faire retomber la pression, j'aurais mis en avant que c'était une musique noire très répandue et appreciée)
MLC1
Bonjour, tout d'abord je tient à vous remercier pour vos conseils précieux et votre correction qui m'a apporté une grande aide !!
Pour la phrase "berry first managed the blending of genres [....] racial barriers "
J'ai voulu exprimer l'idée qu'il a su mélanger les genres, les artistes et Les publics au delà de la couleur de la peau et donc de faire naître un espoir de reculer les barrières raciales
Pour les deux artistes dont vous parler il me semble qu'il s'agit de Tommie Smith et John Carlos lors des Jo de 68?
Et du coup pensez vous que je devrais supprimer le paragraphe sur blacklives Matter, barack Obama etc?
En tout cas je tient encore à vous remercier infiniment, vous m'avez apporté une grande aide pour mon bac JE pense, merci merci merci !!
fidji45
Merci :)
pour vous répondre:
((Pour la phrase "berry first managed the blending of genres [....] racial barriers "
J'ai voulu exprimer l'idée qu'il a su mélanger les genres, les artistes et Les publics au delà de la couleur de la peau et donc de faire naître un espoir de reculer les barrières raciales)))
J'enlèverais cette phrase qui me paraît pouvoir s'appliquer à tout art et donc assez "bateau"
Pour les deux artistes dont vous parler il me semble qu'il s'agit de Tommie Smith et John Carlos lors des Jo de 68? OK OUI car il faut les connaître (votre interlocuteur peut vous interroger dessus)
Vous ne précisez pas quel est le journal ,où il s'achète , sa "couleur' politique etc...C'est très important d'être précis
Et du coup pensez vous que je devrais supprimer le paragraphe sur blacklives Matter, barack Obama etc? (oui ou alors pour Black lives Matters mettez le DANS le paragraphe qui lui est consacré..)
En tout cas je tient encore à vous remercier infiniment, vous m'avez apporté une grande aide pour mon bac JE pense, merci merci merci !! ;) (n'oubliez pas que c'est un peu long!!)
smm
Hello tout le monde, je passe mon oral d'anglais la semaine prochaine et j'ai besoin d'aide sur la notion place and form of power.
Dite moi ce que vous en pensez
Si je ça ne ressemble pas trop à la notion de progrès ??
Miss independent, Single lady, Respect by Aretha Franklin are powerful songs about working women, resourceful and emancipated ones
but if now women seems to have this ability to influence , control others their power was not given. In order to illustrate the notion of power I decided to talk about the woman situation through the age. and attemp to answer the question : How can we depict the different form of power which chained women?
First, we are going to see that there is a domination within a couple.
The first document is a photography from Giant, a 1956 American drama film, directed by George Stevens. In this photography, we can recognize James Dean and Elizabeth Taylor. The woman in the picture is squatting in front of the man and she is looking up at him. He looks really indifferent toward her whereas She looks dedicated to à. In addition, She seems to be hypnotized contrary to him who doesn’t seem to care, he is not even looking at her. She worships him like the Christ on his cross.This photography is the illustration of the power of a male society who overuse it against woman. It suggest that Men are superior and are more considered by the society: they are stronger,more clever and leader in opposition to women who are considered as dependant, weak and submissive.
II) As far as our time is concerned, we can notice that even today women are under pressure of the society.My second document is a short film made by an norway NGO and it is titled dear daddy.The video is about a girl’s life from her birth to adulthood. It is narrated by a girl who is not born yet and she warns her father about what will happen to her. She wants to draw or attention about boys behaviours toward girls. Actually She raises the problem of those little inappropriate jokes and injuries that male tennagers say to girls which can lead to sexual assault or harassments. This document shows the power of the words and the society .As far as I’m concerned, I think that we ‘trivialize too much this sexist jokes and expressions although they have big consequences in a woman’s confident and self esteem.
III) However; history shows that women started to overthrow this men dictatorial power since 50 years . My last document is an american propaganda created in 1943 in ,order to encourage women to work. It represents an Iconic figure of a strong female war production worker. The woman in the poster is beautiful, feminine and she is wearing makeup .. On Top of that,Her arms look strong and her face really determined. For these reasons, we can say that this poster shows that woman are as capable as men are. Consequently,during second great war,the stereotype of a weak woman changed. Women started to work in munition factories and the number of female worker increased. It was a cultrip. But the situation helped woman to get some power that they didn’t abandon after the war. WWII was a culprit and a starting point of a process of independence for woman. To illustrate how strong this poster is, I can say that leading figures such as hillary clinton or beyonce re-appropriated it to promote feminism.
fidji45
bonsoir smm
Je te propose quelques corrections et réflexions : ton troisième document ne me paraît pas approprié (tu essaies de démontrer combien les femmes ont -dés les années 50 -su "renverser la vapeur (féminisme)" or tu soulignes toi même que tu fais référence à une affiche de propagande pour les besoins de la seconde guerre mondiale .
Quand les hommes sont revenus de la guerre, on a redonné aux hommes leurs postes et demandé aux femmes de retourner à leurs foyers ce qui a crée beaucoup de mal-être et de tensions (les femmes reléguées de nouveau aux travaux subalternes ) Il faudrait que tu trouves un document plus actuel en lien avec l'émancipation féminine: je ne corrige donc pas ta troisième partie , OK?
Oral d’anglais sur la notion lieux et formes du pouvoir
Hello tout le monde, je passe mon oral d'anglais la semaine prochaine et j'ai besoin d'aide sur la notion Places and Forms of power.
Si je ça ne ressemble pas trop à la notion de progrès ?? (non, c'est bien!)
Miss Independent, Single lady, Respect by Aretha Franklin are powerful songs about working women, resourceful and emancipated ones.
But if nowADAYS women seem to have this ability to HAVE control OVER THEIR LIVES, thIS power was not given. In order to illustrate the notion of power I HAVE decided to talk about the situation OF WOMEN throughOUT the 20TH CENTURY. I WILL TRY to answer the question : How can we depict the different forms of power which chained women?
First, we are going to see that there is a domination within a couple.(attention tu ne parles pas forcément de la réalité c'est une affiche de film)
The first document is a photography from Giant, a 1956 American drama film, directed by George Stevens. In this photography, we can recognize James Dean and Elizabeth Taylor. The woman in the picture is squatting in front of the man and she is looking up at him. He looks really indifferent toward her whereas she looks dedicated to HIM. In addition, she seems to be hypnotized WHEN HE doesn’t seem to care, he is not even looking at her. She worships him like the Christ on his cross. (là c'est un peu exagéré , non?) ;) THIS PICTURE suggestS that men are superior and BETTER considered by the society: they are stronger,more clever and leader in opposition to women who are considered as dependEnt, weak and submissive.
II) As far as our time is concerned We can notice that even today women areSOCIALLY under pressure of the society.My second document is a short film made by an norway(norvégien??) NGO and it is titled Dear Daddy.The video is about a girl’s life from her birth to adulthood. It is narrated by a girl who is not born yet and she warns her father about what will happen to her. She wants to draw oUr attention ON THE boys' behaviours towardS girls. Actually she raises the problem of those little inappropriate jokes and injuries(injuries: blessures , regarde le mot "injures") that male teEnagers say to girls which can lead to sexual assault or harassment. This document shows the power of the words and INAPPROPRIATE ATTITUDES.As far as I’m concerned, I think that we ‘trivialize(minimize?) sexist jokes and expressions although they have HEAVY consequences FOR womENS' self esteem.
III) However; history shows that women started to overthrow this men dictatorial power since 50 years . My last document is an american propaganda created in 1943 in ,order to encourage women to work. It represents an Iconic figure of a strong female war production worker. The woman in the poster is beautiful, feminine and she is wearing makeup .. On Top of that,Her arms look strong and her face really determined. For these reasons, we can say that this poster shows that woman are as capable as men are. Consequently,during second great war,the stereotype of a weak woman changed. Women started to work in munition factories and the number of female worker increased. It was a cultrip. But the situation helped woman to get some power that they didn’t abandon after the war. WWII was a culprit and a starting point of a process of independence for woman. To illustrate how strong this poster is, I can say that leading figures such as hillary clinton or beyonce re-appropriated it to promote feminism.
Conseils
Introduis tes notions et délimite ton sujet (quel pays ..etc )
Cherche un autre document perso (tu peux en trouver dans des livres d'anglais : les premières marches féministes (et pourquoi Emily Pankcrust et les suffragettes en Angleterre que tu as dû étudier en première avec un peu de chance)
smm
Merci beaucoup fidji47 !!
En effet un autre document serait approprié pour le 3 . Je vais chercher du côté de #metoo peutêtre.
Le problème c'est que je ne peux qu'utiliser un doc personnel et sinon le reste doive être ceux étudiés en terminale. ( ma prof n'a rien proposé d'intéressant à part une pièce de shakespeare et les 3 docs que j'ai utilisé)
