Sage des six chemins
Bonjour, j'ai un DM à faire en Anglais avec pour sujet de choisir un personnage que l'on considère comme un Héro et de dire pourquoi on éstime qu'il en est bien un.
J'ai d'une part rédigé le texte en Français que je voudrais traduire le mieux possible en restant assez proche de ce qu'il y est dit:
Il y a tant d'homme sur cette Terre que nous pourrions qualifié d'héro, titre auquel ils ont eu le droit après un ou plusieurs actes dignes de louanges et qui ont parfois pu leur couter la vie.
Parmi tout les personnes que je connais et qui sont consideré comme des heros, j'ai choisie de parler Desmond Doss dont l'histoire est digne du cinéma et à d'ailleurs fait l'objet d'un nouveau film disponible maintenant depuis novembre 2016.
Cet homme malgré qu'il se soit fixé pour idéal moral, qu'il a d'ailleurs respecté, de ne jamais porter une arme ou de tuer s'est engagé dans l'armée pour aider son pays durant cette sombre période qu'est la 2nd G.M.
C'est ainsi qu'il va s'engager en tant qu'infirmier et donc soigner de nombreux soldats blessés au bord de la mort pour certain.
De plus, les infirmiers étant la cible prioritaire de l'ennemi, ils se devaient en général d'être armés, chose que Desmond Doss ne faisait pas car il voulait garder ses valeurs et sa foi de ne tuer personne.
Ainsi, il va risquer sa vie pour protéger celle de ses camardes, comme cette fois là, à la bataille d'Okinawa: souvent à découvert sous les feux ennemis, il prodigue tout les soins possible aux blessés.
Autre évenement, lorsque sa troupe subit une attaque surprise à l'éscarpement de Maeda, Desmond Doss à transporté ses camarades blessés 1 par 1 en lieu sur plutot que de s'enfuire et d'étre en sécurité.
Enfin, il est allé directement en territoire ennemi assiter des blessés jusqu'à être blessé lui-même et ordonner le transfert d'autres soldats en priorité plutot que le sien.
Par ailleurs, malgré toutes les décorations et tout les titres qu'il à reçu, Desmond doss ne s'est jamais vu lui-même comme un héro.
Altruisme, modesite, courage et respect, voici les principales qualités qu'avait Desmond Doss et qui étaient les réels qualités que se devait d'avoir un héro.
Voilà qu'elle genre d'homme était Desmond Doss, un homme qui n'avait jamais blessé ou tué quelqu'un, qui restait fidèle à ses ideaux moraux et qui avait sauvé d'innombrable en temps de guerre plutot que de les prendre.
C'était un véritable héro.
Maintenant place à ma traduction auquel je n'ai utilisé qu'un dictionnaire web (linguee) pour se faire et non pas de sites comme google traduction.
There is a lot of men in this world that we can called hero, title that they have win after a lot of acts elogieuse and that they have often were until cost their life.
Among all people that I know and who ate considered like a hero, I have chose to speack about Desmond Doss: a men whose the story is worthy of the cinema and at do the object of a new film now available since November 2016.
This men despite that he has for moral ideal, that he has besides respected, of never wear an arm or of kill somebody has been commited with army for helps his country during this "Dark period" called World War 2.
It's thus that he is commited like nurse and go to heal a lot of soldiers at death's door for many of soldiers.
Moreover, nurses were the principal target during the war and have to in general wear an arm, chose that Desmond Doss didn't because he wanted to keep his values and his faith of never kill someone.
Thus, he goes risk his own live for save lives of his comrades like this time, at the battle of Okinawa: Often exposed below enemy fire, he gives all care necessary.
Other event, when his troop were attacked at the escarpment of Maeda, Desmond Doss had transported his comrades who were hurt, one by one, in a better place whereas he was able to get away and be in security.
Lastly, he was going directly in enemy territory nursing injured until be hurt himself and order the transfert of others soldiers in priority instead him.
In addition, despite decorations of honor and titles that he won, Desmond Doss haven't never see himself like a hero.
Altruism, modesty, brave and respect: here are principals quality that had Desmond Doss and who are real qualitys that a hero must have.
Here is what type of men was Desmond Doss, a men who hadn't nevet hurt or kill someone, who was stick to faithful at his moral ideal and who had save many of men in times of war instead of take them.
Voilà, j'attend avec impatiente vos retours sur mon texte par rapport au sujet et ma traduction afin de l'améliorer dans l'anglais le plus parfait. :)
TheRedRoom
Bonjour,
Traduire un texte qu'on a rédigé en français n'est pas la méthode la plus facile pour rédiger en anglais, ni la plus efficace. Vous combinez la difficulté de rédiger + celle de traduire !
Une méthode intéressante est de faire une sorte de "brainstorming" des expressions et mots que vous connaissez en anglais et qui pourront vous servir. A partir de cela, vous faites votre plan en organisant les grandes idées. Il faut rédiger à partir de ce que vous êtes capable d'exprimer.
Attention, linguee n'est pas un dictionnaire, mais un catalogue de traductions. Il y a parfois de grosses bêtises. L'utilisation d'un dictionnaire, qu'il soit papier ou numérique, n'est pas chose aisée.
Une chose que je recommande: n'utilisez JAMAIS dans un devoir un mot que vous venez de trouver dans le dictionnaire et que vous n'avez jamais vu avant. Commencez à réviser vos cours, normalement votre professeur vous a donné assez d'outils pour composer votre devoir. Dans le cas où vous avez vraiment besoin d'un mot nouveau, une fois que vous l'avez trouvé, regardez-le dans l'autre sens (anglais -> français) pour vous assurer qu'il veut bien dire ce que vous pensez.
Dans votre devoir, vous faites des phrases bien trop complexes par rapport à votre niveau de grammaire.
Examinons la première phrase :
[There is a lot of men in this world]
"A lot of men", par définition, c'est plusieurs. Pourquoi votre verbe est-il au singulier ?
that
Vous êtes sûr ? Quel est l'antécédent de "that" ? (c'est-à-dire : quel mot "that" remplace-t-il dans votre proposition subordonnée?)
we can called hero
Pourquoi avez-vous mis la terminaison -ed à "call" ? "Can" est un auxiliaire de modalité, revoyez comment ils se construisent.
, title that they
Ca, c'est une construction française. Dans votre texte anglais, il vaudrait mieux mettre un point après "hero" et ensuite commencer une nouvelle phrase. (sinon, vous pouvez aussi mettre le déterminant "a" avant title, mais il est vraiment nécessaire de simplifier la syntaxe)
have win after
Vous êtes sûr que c'est comme ça que se construit le present perfect ? d'ailleurs pourquoi utiliser le present perfect ?
a lot of acts elogieuse
1) le mot "elogieuse" n'existe pas en anglais.
2) ce mot qui n'existe pas semble néanmoins être un adjectif... quelle devrait être sa place dans le groupe nominal ?
and that they have often were until cost their life.
Votre verbe est dans tous les sens. essayez de repérer : où est votre verbe ici ?
Je ne vais pas faire tout votre texte, sinon j'y passerai la nuit car le texte est rempli de fautes. Mon conseil: Réécrivez en faisant des phrases simples : 1 sujet - 1 verbe [- 1 complément].
Voilà, désolée d'être un peu rabat-joie, mais je pense que votre professeur préfèrera une syntaxe moins complexe, mais plus correcte.
Et merci de m'avoir fait découvrir Desmond Doss ;-)
Sage des six chemins
Je comprend votre point de vue du fait que je devrais simplifier mes phrases cependant, ce n'est pas pour rien que j'ai été jusqu'à rediger un texte de ce degré de complexité, il le faut, c'etait dans les consignes et c'est ce que le professeur attend de moi: "Make elaborate sentences and use a rich vocabulary"
Ainsi, j'aimerai comme je l'ai dit au debut rester fidèle à ce texte.
C'est pourquoi j'apprécierais que vous consentiez à m'accorder un peu de votre temps en me soulignant seulement dans ma traduction anglaise tout ce qui ne va pas d'un PDV de la grammaire comme j'ai vu que vous l'avez fait avec le "there is" du debut.
Ensuite, dans un 2nd temps si noud pourrions voir les fautes de temps que j'ai employé ainsi que leur concordance.
En vous remerciant :)
TheRedRoom
Je regarderai cela demain, au moins pour le début de votre texte. mais je vous re-dis que faire une traduction du français n'est pas une bonne méthode, et j'espère que vous avez conscience du fait qu'il faudra faire des modifications car vous utilisez des structures françaises qui ne peuvent pas être calquées en anglais. Entre temps peut-être pouvez-vous me donner des exemples des structures grammaticales que vous avez vues en cours, pour m'aider à cerner ce que votre professeur entend par "elaborate sentences" ? (passif, subordonnées, modaux, etc...)
Sage des six chemins
Elle a seulement demandé les choses suivante:
-Tu dois me convaincre que cette personne est héro
-Utilise un riche vocabulaire et fait des phrases élaboré. Ton Anglais doit être parfait.
Je pense que ce qu'elle entend par "elaborate sentences" c'est d'essayer d'utiliser un peu de tout et justement d'éviter de tomber dans la facilité avec de simple phrase.
Pour ce qui est de la méthode, ce n'est peut-être pas la meilleur, je vous le concède toutefois c'est celle qui me parle le mieux et étant donné qu'il s'agit d'un DM non défini sur une intervalle temporelle, celle me convient mais je vous remercie toutefois pour le conseil sur l'autre méthode.
Ah et j'oubliais, ne vous en faites pas pour ce qui est de la durée du temps que vous me consacreriez, si vous soulignez uniquement les endroits où figure un défaut grammatical ou de temps, je devrais être en mesure de trouver la solution de moi-même dans la plupart des cas, n'ayez pas d'inquiétude :)
Jehan
Ton orthographe française laisse souvent à désirer, elle aussi.
Il serait bon que tu y prêtes davantage attention. ;)
Sage des six chemins
Ah ça?
Eh bien je ne vois pas vraiment l'intêret que vous portez à des fautes de la langue française en anglais mais si ça peut vous rassurer, je suis peut être tête en l'air en ce vendredi soir mais ce n'est pas pareille quand je me concentre un temps soit peu. :)
Mais bon, nous nous écartons du sujet du devoir, voici ce que j'ai corrigé à l'aide de votre intervention:
There are a lot of man in this word and we can called this type of people a hero.
This title was win after a lot of laudatory acts and the hero had sometimes pay of his life.
Qu'en pense mon cher interlocuteur ? :(
Jehan
Eh bien je ne vois pas vraiment l'intérêt que vous portez à des fautes de la langue française en anglais
Eh bien, par exemple, si tu te trompes de catégorie grammaticale en orthographiant un mot français et que tu utilises un homonyme, tu risques éventuellement de te tromper de catégorie grammaticale en le traduisant en anglais...
voici ce que j'ai corrigé à l'aide de votre intervention:
C'est CCCC qui est intervenu sur ton texte...
Cette remarque sur ton orthographe en français ne vient pas de lui, mais de moi, Jehan...
Laoshi
Eh bien je ne vois pas vraiment l'intérêt que vous portez à des fautes de la langue française en anglais
Jehan a raison. Tes fautes énormes piquent les yeux et que l'on soit vendredi ou dimanche n'y change rien. Nous sommes ici sur un forum d'études littéraires et si l'on voit des fautes, il est normal de le signaler, dans ton propre intérêt. Tu as écrit... pas une fois, mais plusieurs fois "héro" en français. Il est logique qu'on en déduise que tu ignores qu'en français, c'est "héros" qu'il convient d'écrire, et qu'on te le dise.
ce n'est pas pareille quand je me concentre un temps soit peu.
Tu dois me convaincre que cette personne est héro
-Utilise un riche vocabulaire et fait des phrases élaboré. Ton Anglais doit être parfait.
(ton français aussi !)
Je pense que ce qu'elle entend par "elaborate sentences" c'est d'essayer d'utiliser un peu de tout et justement d'éviter de tomber dans la facilité avec de simple phrase. (des phrases trop simples)
Pour ce qui est de la méthode, ce n'est peut-être pas la meilleur, je vous le concède toutefois c'est celle qui me parle le mieux et étant donné qu'il s'agit d'un DM non défini sur une intervalle temporelle
TheRedRoom
Bon alors commençons par votre phrase "corrigée" :
There are a lot of man in this word
Alors vous avez bien conjugué le verbe au pluriel, c'est bien, mais vous avez mis "man" au singulier... Et vous avez écrit "word" au lieu de "world" (si vous rajoutez 2x plus de fautes en corrigeant, on n'est pas sortis de l'auberge ! ça veut peut-être dire que vous faites de fautes d'étourderie / de frappe quand vous êtes fatigué. A relire, donc, reposé...)
and we can called this type of people a hero.
Alors vous avez carrément supprimé la subordonnée... vous auriez pu la garder, mais en mettant le bon pronom relatif (quizz : choisir entre that, which et who)
Vous avez laissé -ed à la fin de "call". "can called" n'existe pas en anglais, il faut corriger.
This title was win
Vous avez corrigé la syntaxe, c'est bien.
Mais vous avez laissé le groupe verbal tel quel : il faut corriger. Attention, "to win" est un verbe irrégulier.
after a lot of laudatory acts and the hero had sometimes pay of his life.
Le groupe verbal : c'est mieux, mais le groupe verbal reste mal construit. Vous voulez utiliser la structure "to have to do something". C'est la bonne structure, mais il manque quelque chose dans votre phrase.
Et maintenant le reste du texte :
Among all people that I know and who ate considered like plutôt "regarded as" a hero, I have chose to speack about Desmond Doss: a men whose the story is worthy of the cinema and at do the object of a new film now available since November 2016.
This men despite that he après "despite" il faut un nom. donc "despite the fact that" has for moral ideal, that he has besides respected, of never wear an arm or of kill somebody has been commited with army for helps his country during this "Dark period" called World War 2.
It's thus that he is commited like nurse and go to heal a lot of soldiers at death's door for many of soldiers.
Moreover, nurses were the principal target during the war and have (temps) to in general ne pas couper en deux votre infinitif wear an arm, chose that Desmond Doss didn't because he wanted to keep his values and his faith of never kill someone.
Thus, he goes risk his own live for save lives of his comrades like this time, at the battle of Okinawa: Often exposed below enemy fire, he gives (temps) all care necessary.
Other event, when his troop were attacked at the escarpment of Maeda, Desmond Doss had transported (Temps) his comrades who were hurt, one by one, in a better place whereas he was able to get away and be in security vous dites le contraire de ce que vous voulez dire.
Lastly, he was going directly in enemy territory nursing injured until be hurt himself and order (temps) the transfert of others soldiers in priority instead him.
In addition, despite decorations of honor and titles that he won, Desmond Doss haven't never see himself like a hero.
Altruism, modesty, brave and respect: here are principals quality that had Desmond Doss and who are real qualitys that a hero must have.
Here is what type of men was Desmond Doss, a men who hadn't nevet hurt or kill someone, who was stick to faithful at his moral ideal and who had save many of men in times of war instead of take them.
Ecrire demande beaucoup de rigueur. On ne peut pas jeter des mots et des lettres côte à côte en espérant que ça fonctionne...
Sage des six chemins
There are a lot of men in this world who might be called hero.
This title was won after a lot of laudatory acts and the hero had sometimes to pay of his life.
Among all people which I know and who are regarded as a hero, I decided to speak about Desmond Doss: a man whose a story is worthy of the cinema and did the object of a new film now available since November 2016.
This man despite the fact that he had as moral ideal, thing which he respected, of never kill somebody or bear an arm he joined the army anyway to help his country during this "Dark period" called World War 2.
It's thus that he joined the army as nursing and went to heal a lot of soldiers at death's door for many of soldiers.
Moreover, nurses were the principal target during the war and had to wear an arm, thing that Desmond Doss never respected because he wanted to keep his values and his faith to don't kill someone.
Thus, he risked his own life to save lives of his comrades like at the battle of Okinawa: Often exposed under enemy fire, he gave all care necessary.
Another event, when his troops were attacked at the escarpment of Maeda, Desmond Doss transported his comrades who were hurt, one by one, in a better place whereas someone else was able to get away probably and be in security.
Lastly, he went directly in enemy territory nursing before to be hurt himself and to instruct his troops the transfert of others soldiers in priority instead his.
In addition, despite decorations of honor and titles that he won, Desmond Doss never saw himself like a hero.
Altruism, modesty, bravery and respect: here are principal qualities that had Desmond Doss and who are real qualities that a hero must have.
Here is what type of man was Desmond Doss, a man who never hurt or killed someone, who kept loyal at his moral ideal and who saved plenty of lives in times of war instead of taken them
Voilà désolé pour le retard de ce message, je te remercie pour le temps que tu as passé à me corriger et l'aide que tu m'apportes et je vois ou vous voulez en venir Laoshi et Jehan, je vais dorénavant essayer de mieux m'appliquer à bien écrire même sur des forums
Jehan
essayer de mieux m'appliquer à bien écrire même sur des forums
Et
surtout sur un forum littéraire ! ;)
Merci d'avoir pris cette bonne résolution...
TheRedRoom
Ah c'est déjà nettement mieux, bravo ! Quelques mots que j'ai soulignés n'ont pas été corrigés correctement, mais dans l'ensemble vous avez fait un bon travail de correction. Quelques indices :
- Whose + nom (pas d'article devant le nom)
- En anglais on dira plutôt que quelqu'un a été le sujet d'un film, plutôt qu'il '"a fait l'objet" d'un film (expression idiomatique qu'on ne peut calquer en anglais)
- après des prépositions (of, for, instead of, before...) on doit mettre un nom. Exemple : "the point of the story is..." . Quand on veut y mettre un verbe, il faut d'une certaine manière déguiser le verbe en nom en lui ajoutant -ing : "the point of telling the story is..." (y compris lorsqu'il y a une négation entre la préposition et le verbe). Relisez votre texte et corrigez cela.
- lorsqu'on parle d'une profession, il faut souvent mettre un article indéfini devant, contrairement au français. "Je suis professeur -> I am a teacher. J'ai une formation d'avocat -> I was trained a a lawyer. Le mot que vous employez, "nurse", est le bon, mais il ne faut pas omettre l'article. Par ailleurs, à cause de la nature éminemment féminine du mot ("nurse" vient du français "nourrice", celle qui nourrit, d'ailleurs "to nurse" veut aussi dire allaiter), on aura tendance à dire "male nurse" lorsque la personne dont on parle est un homme.
Sage des six chemins
Voilà alors j'ai mis en vert les changements apportés :)
There are a lot of men in this world who might be called hero.
This title was won after a lot of laudatory acts and the hero had sometimes to pay of his life.
Among all people which I know and who are regarded as a hero, I decided to speak about Desmond Doss: a man whose story is worthy of the cinema and was the subject of a new film now available since November 2016.
This man despite the fact that he had as moral ideal, thing which he respected, of never kill somebody or bear an arm he joined the army anyway to help his country during this "Dark period" called World War 2.
It's thus that he joined the army as a male nurse (mais ici le fait de dire qu il rejoigne l armée comme un infirmier serait mal dit non? On pourrait enlever l article?) and went to heal a lot of soldiers at death's door for many of soldiers.
Moreover, nurses were the principal target during the war and had to wear an arm, thing that Desmond Doss never respected because he wanted to keep his values and his faith to don't kill someone.
Thus, he risked his own life to save lives of his comrades like at the battle of Okinawa: Often exposed under enemy fire, he gave all care necessary.
Another event, when his troops were attacked at the escarpment of Maeda, Desmond Doss transported his comrades who were hurt, one by one, in a better place whereas someone else was able to get away probably and be in security.
Lastly, he went directly in enemy territory for healing before to be hurt himself and to instruct his troops the transfert of others soldiers in priority instead his.
In addition, despite decorations of honor and titles that he won, Desmond Doss never saw himself like a hero.
Altruism, modesty, bravery and respect: here are principal qualities that had Desmond Doss and who are real qualities that a hero must have.
Here is what type of man was Desmond Doss, a man who never hurt or killed someone, who kept loyal at his moral ideal and who saved plenty of lives in times of war instead of taken them.
Tu es là?
TheRedRoom
Voilas c'est pas mal.
Encore quelques remarques :
There are a lot of men in this world who might be called hero.
This title was ici je mettrais plutôt "is" sinon on pense que vous parlez d'un événement en particulier, alors que c'est plutôt en général won after a lot of laudatory acts and the hero had sometimes to pay of his life.
Among all people which I know and who are regarded as a hero, I decided to speak about Desmond Doss: a man whose story is worthy of the cinema and was the subject of a new film now available since November 2016.
Votre sujet apparaît deux fois : "this man" et plus bas "he", ça ne se fait pas en anglais. This man despite the fact that he had as moral ideal, thing which he respected, of never kill somebody or bear an arm he joined the army anyway to help his country during this "Dark period" called World War 2.
It's thus that he joined the army as a male nurse (mais ici le fait de dire qu il rejoigne l armée comme un infirmier serait mal dit non? On pourrait enlever l article? Mais non, vous faites comme si l'anglais c'était du français... "As a nurse" signifie "en tant qu'infirmier". On ne met pas d'article en français et on en met en anglais parce que la grammaire n'est pas la même dans les deux langues !) and went to heal a lot of soldiers at death's door for many of pas besoin de of soldiers.
Moreover, nurses were the principal target during the war and had to wear an arm, thing that Desmond Doss never respected because he wanted to keep his values and his faith to don't la negation doit we mettre avant l'infinitif kill someone.
Thus, he risked his own life to save lives of his comrades like at the battle of Okinawa: Often exposed under enemy fire, he gave all care necessary.
Another event, when his troops were attacked at the escarpment of Maeda, Desmond Doss transported his comrades who were hurt, one by one, in a better place whereas someone else was able to get away probably and be in security. Plutot "whereas he could have"
Lastly, he went directly in enemy territory for healing before +ing to be hurt himself and to instruct his troops the transfert of others soldiers in priority instead his.
In addition, despite decorations of honor and titles that he won, Desmond Doss never saw himself like a hero.
Altruism, modesty, bravery and respect: here are principal qualities that had Desmond Doss and who are real qualities that a hero must have.
Here is what type of man was Desmond Doss, a man who never hurt or killed someone, who kept loyal at his moral ideal and who saved plenty of lives in times of war instead of +ing taken them.
Sage des six chemins
There are a lot of men in this world who might be called hero.
This title is won peut-on dire "is won"? Car j'aurais plus dit "is win" after a lot of laudatory acts and the hero had sometimes to pay of his life.
Among all people which I know and who are regarded as a hero, I decided to speak about Desmond Doss: a man whose story is worthy of the cinema and was the subject of a new film now available since November 2016.
This man despite the fact that he had as moral ideal, thing which he respected, of never kill somebody or bear an arm joined the army anyway to help his country during this "Dark period" called World War 2.
It's thus that he joined the army as a male nurse and went to heal a lot of soldiers at death's door for many soldiers.
Moreover, nurses were the principal target during the war and had to wear an arm, thing that Desmond Doss never respected because he wanted to keep his values and his faith to never kill someone.
Thus, he risked his own life to save lives of his comrades like at the battle of Okinawa: Often exposed under enemy fire, he gave all care necessary.
Another event, when his troops were attacked at the escarpment of Maeda, Desmond Doss transported his comrades who were hurt, one by one, in a better place whereas he could have get away and be in security.
Lastly, he went directly in enemy territory for healing before +ing (je n'ai pas compris, il y a déjà un ing à heal) to be hurt himself and to instruct his troops the transfert of others soldiers in priority instead his.
In addition, despite decorations of honor and titles that he won, Desmond Doss never saw himself like a hero.
Altruism, modesty, bravery and respect: here are principal qualities that had Desmond Doss and who are real qualities that a hero must have.
Here is what type of man was Desmond Doss, a man who never hurt or killed someone, who kept loyal at his moral ideal and who saved plenty of lives in times of war instead of taking them.
TheRedRoom
Voilà voilà, on s'approche ! Vous avez fait du bon travail ! Si vous avez encore le courage et le temps, on peut rajouter une couche de correction.
There are a lot of men in this world who might be called hero.
This title is won peut-on dire "is won"? Car j'aurais plus dit "is win" Vous auriez tord. "is win" n'existe pas, alors que "is won" = be + participe passé, c'est du passif et c'est grammaticalement correct. Il faut parfois se méfier de ce qu'on mettrait "à l'oreille", ou "à l'intuition", c'est généralement faux. after a lot of laudatory acts and the hero had sometimes to pay of his life.
Among all people which il faut mettre "who" car l'antécédent est animé (c'est-à-dire un être vivant) I know and who are regarded as a hero, I decided to speak about Desmond Doss: a man whose story is worthy of the cinema and was the subject of a new film now available since November 2016.
This man despite the fact that he had as moral ideal, something which he respected, of never killing somebody or bearing an arm c'est bien. Pour faire encore mieux, vous pouvez commencer la phrase par "despite the fact", et mettre votre sujet "this man" juste ici joined the army anyway to help his country during this "Dark period" called World War 2.
It's thus that he joined the army as a male nurse and went to heal a lot of soldiers at death's door for many soldiers.
Moreover, nurses were the principal target during the war and had to wear an arm, something that
Desmond Doss never respected because he wanted to keep his values and his faith to never "never" avant l'infinitif, c'est-à-dire avant la particule infinitive "to" kill someone.
Thus, he risked his own life to save lives of his comrades like at the battle of Okinawa: Often exposed under enemy fire, he gave all care necessary.
Another event, when his troops were attacked at the escarpment of Maeda, Desmond Doss transported his comrades who were hurt, one by one, in a better place whereas he could have get Have + participe passé = "got" et non pas "get" away and be in security.
Lastly, he went directly in j'avais indiqué une faute à corriger : il faut penser à mettre une préposition qui exprime un déplacement (préposition dynamique et non pas statique) enemy territory for healing before +ing (je n'ai pas compris, il y a déjà un ing à heal oui mais vous auriez dû aussi en mettre un à "be" car il est placé après la préposition before) to be hurt himself and to instruct his troops the transfert of others soldiers in priority instead of his.
In addition, despite decorations of honor and titles that he won, Desmond Doss never saw himself like a hero.
Altruism, modesty, bravery and respect: here are principal qualities that had Desmond Doss and who are real qualities that a hero must have.
Here is what type of man was Desmond Doss mettre "was" après "Desmond Doss", car on met toujours le sujet avant le verbe dans une phrase déclarative, a man who never hurt or killed someone anyone, who kept loyal at his moral ideal and who saved plenty of lives in times of war instead of taking them.
Sage des six chemins
Comme cela c'est parfait? :)
There are a lot of men in this world who might be called hero.
This title is won after a lot of laudatory acts and the hero had sometimes to pay of his life.
Among all people who I know and who are regarded as a hero, I decided to speak about Desmond Doss: a man whose story is worthy of the cinema and was the subject of a new film now available since November 2016.
Despite the fact that he had as moral ideal, something which he respected, of never killing somebody or bearing an arm this man joined the army anyway to help his country during this "Dark period" called World War 2.
It's thus that he joined the army as a male nurse and went to heal a lot of soldiers at death's door for many soldiers.
Moreover, nurses were the principal target during the war and had to wear an arm, something that
Desmond Doss never respected because he wanted to keep his values and his faith to never to kill someone.
Thus, he risked his own life to save lives of his comrades like at the battle of Okinawa: Often exposed under enemy fire, he gave all care necessary.
Another event, when his troops were attacked at the escarpment of Maeda, Desmond Doss transported his comrades who were hurt, one by one, in a better place whereas he could have got away and be in security.
Lastly, he went directly into enemy territory for healing before to being hurt himself and to instruct his troops the transfert of others soldiers in priority instead of his.
In addition, despite decorations of honor and titles that he won, Desmond Doss never saw himself like a hero.
Altruism, modesty, bravery and respect: here are principal qualities that had Desmond Doss and who are real qualities that a hero must have.
Here is what type of man Desmond Doss was, a man who never hurt or killed someone anyone, who kept loyal at his moral ideal and who saved plenty of lives in times of war instead of taking them.8
Laoshi
Quelques suggestions (en vert)
There are a lot of men in this world who might be called hero. (pluriel plutôt, non => heroes)
This title is won after a lot of laudatory acts (many acts of bravery and courage), the hero had sometimes to pay for it with his life.
Among all people who I know and who are regarded as a hero (heroes), I decided to speak about Desmond Doss: a man whose story is worthy of the cinema and has been subject of a very interesting film, available since November 2016.
Despite the fact that he had as moral ideal, something which he respected, of never killing somebody or bearing an arm, (despite the fact that he refused to kill an enemy soldier or carry a weapon into combat because of his personal beliefs, this man joined the army anyway to help his country during this "Dark period" called World War 2.
It's thus that he joined the army as a male nurse (a medic) and went to heal a lot of soldiers at death's door for many soldiers.(on the verge of death)
Moreover, nurses were the principal target during the war and had to wear (carry) an arm, something that
Desmond Doss never respected because he wanted to keep his values and his faith to never to kill someone (anyone).
Thus, he risked his own life to save lives of his comrades like at (during) the battle of Okinawa: Often exposed under enemy fire, he gave all care necessary. (necessary care)
Another event, when his troops were attacked at the escarpment of Maeda, Desmond Doss transported his comrades who were hurt, one by one, in (to) a better place whereas he could have got away and be in security (safe and secure).
Sage des six chemins
-Ok alors merci pour ton aide, j'ai gardé la majorité des changements que tu m'as conseillé mais, je n'ai pas rajouté le "many acts of bravery and courage" à la place de "laudatory acts" car je préfère qu'au début on reste dans le flou au niveau des qualités de ce héro et que l'on annonce la couleur petit à petit.
-Ensuite pour "a medic" à la place de "a male nurse" je ne sais pas du coup lequel est le mieux adapté vu que cccc m'a conseillé l'un et toi l'autre.
-Pareille pour le "hero" et "heroes", cccc n'a pas réagis au hero donc c'est assez flou à ce niveau là et j'aurais plus mis au singulier car ici j'essaye plutot de généraliser ce mot .
-Pour le "Among all people I know" je ne comprend pas pourquoi le who on doit l'enlever.
-Enfin pour la phrase (despite the fact that he refused to kill an enemy soldier or carry a weapon into combat because of his personal beliefs), je ne sais pas encore si je la place plutot que celle qui est actuellement car vers la fin je parle encore d'ideal moral, donc j'hésite.
Voilà ce que ça donne:
There are a lot of men in this world who might be called hero.
This title is won after a lot of laudatory acts, the hero had sometimes to pay for it with his life.
Among all people who I know and who are regarded as a hero, I decided to speak about Desmond Doss: a man whose story is worthy of the cinema and has been subject of a very interesting film, available since November 2016.
Despite the fact that he had as moral ideal, something which he respected, of never killing somebody or bearing an arm this man joined the army anyway to help his country during this "Dark period" called World War 2.
Thus he joined the army as a male nurse and went to heal a lot of soldiers on the verge of death.
Moreover, nurses were the principal target during the war and had to carry an arm, something that
Desmond Doss never respected because he wanted to keep his values and his faith to never to kill anyone.
Thus, he risked his own life to save lives of his comrades like during the battle of Okinawa: Often exposed under enemy fire, he gave all necessary care.
Another event, when his troops were attacked at the escarpment of Maeda, Desmond Doss transported his comrades who were hurt, one by one, to a better place whereas he could have got away and be safe and secure.
Lastly, he went directly into enemy territory for healing before to being hurt himself and to instruct his troops the transfert of others soldiers in priority instead of his.
In addition, despite decorations of honor and titles that he won, Desmond Doss never saw himself like a hero.
Altruism, modesty, bravery and respect: here are principal qualities that had Desmond Doss and who are real qualities that a hero must have.
Here is what type of man Desmond Doss was, a man who never hurt or killed someone anyone, who kept loyal at his moral ideal and who saved plenty of lives in times of war instead of taking them.
